The Evil Mashup that Cursed my Dick

28 Sep, 2025

last modified 3 weeks, 2 days ago

this is not an eloquent or interesting post. I just want to talk about SiIvaGunner. I want to share with you some youtube embeds and put some really crazy mashups into your ear-holes. there is very little else I'm interested in, on this day (well, this post)

I should explain the title.

there once was a tumblr account. it was called everyteenager4free. it was entirely before my time on tumblr, so I cannot be an accurate historian of everyteenager4free, but like...

y'know how there were several specific styles of "easily reshareable social media images with relatable text in them" back in the 2010s? there were facebook pages and tumblr accounts and so on and so forth that were ran like the fucking navy, usually by teenagers as a hobby that sometimes later became monetized, that churned these out, each in the hundreds, maybe more. and one of these styles was the "relatable teenager things" shape. you'd get microblogs and pages with names like Just Girly Things¹ or Teen Relatables or whatever. they were, uh, slop. artisanal slop, mind you, but still just sorta... churned out nothingburger reflections of social mores.

but tumblr basically nearly from the start had a penchant for a specific flavor of surreal, subversive, often antagonistic humor. there's many examples of this, including the John Green cyberbullying saga², but today's subject is barely ever mentioned outside tumblr despite creating several catchphrases that persist into the modern day.

everyteenager4free was a parody of those relatable teen slop posting pages that made weird and surreal and even offensive collages of those posts. their account's been deleted, but an archive blog with the url everyteenager4free1 remains and spent years archiving any surviving everyteenager4free posts they could find.

and these posts are so fucking catchy. they had a serious gift for wit. some examples of everyteenager4free posts that live in my brain rent-free:

• Today I am excited about excaping the Torture Labyrinth
• *puppy dog town* *puppy dog village**
• jungle jim and he will bring the jungle heat down on you're stupid child having ass
• WELCOME TO MY CYBER-REALITY

(all of these are tumblr links to pages that may not display properly if you don't have a tumblr account, apologies).

but one I particularly find funny and quotable is this one, which I will, actually, hotlink:

(here's a regular link, as well)

I have paraphrased this post many many times over the last decade. "cursing my dick" has evolved, in my personal lexicon, to mean something that's close to "haunts my waking hours in some way, completely against my will, and I am expressing it in this way to signal exactly how against my will it is". basically, something like being held psychically hostage. it's a very unserious way of expressing this feeling, too, so it also carries a ridiculous, comedic, over-the-top connotation to it. I don't say someone "cursed my dick" if I have a crush on them, but I could say it about a fictional character I'm obsessed with (I have done this way too many times).

and today, with the title of this blog post, I basically just mean: these mashups are really, very catchy, and I want to act as if I'm annoyed or even horrified by the fact that they are, even if I'm actively sharing, because it's really funny to me to pretend to hate something I clearly love. play-act at being tsundere, if it were.

I know this is a lot of joke explaining, but the detour is worthwhile in my opinion because now you know about everyteenager4free. welp. mashups.

SiIvaGunner. or, in all lowercase, siivagunner.

this is a youtube channel that dedicates itself (in a grand tradition I don't really understand the history of) to baiting people. specifically, it shares videos that masquerade as straightforward uploads of videogame music, so that unwitting youtube users accidentally click it without knowing what they're signing up for.

and then what it delivers are... shitpost remixes. memes. internet in-jokes.

(fun fact: while I was making this post, Aftermath published an article about SiIvaGunner that you can read with you're eyeballs! yaaaaaaay)

the level of seriousness of siivagunner remixes varies greatly. it's never 100%, I don't think, but while there are complete fucking shitposts (like the time the channel's team remade the entire Ocarina of Time soundscape, not just soundtrack but effects too, out of one weird Nicholas Cage movie), there's also times where they just make a really cool mashup!

and in this post I will be sharing some of these mashups. that I like. :]

"Scanty Debate"

this is the one that originally inspired this post. This track mashes up "V3 Argument - Scrum" from Danganronpa V3 with "Scanty & Kneesock's Theme (I Want You)" from hit television show Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt.

I have probably spent more hours listening to this single remix than I have spent playing Skyrim. I'm exaggerating but I'm not kidding, this goes absolutely thermonuclear... I don't really leave my house but if I went to a club and they played this, I would become a maenad

"Bullet Of Time" (alt. youtube link)

it's mashed up with "Bulletproof" by La Roux. a weirdly nostalgic song for me, I was young when it was huge on the radio. I've seen people criticize the nostalgia towards late 00s through early 10s pop music, saying it was bad... I don't get it, but that's because I feel the nostalgia, so I think this sort of music was good. well, I really like this mashup.

"Sleepwalking Angel"

it's mashed up with "Fallen Angel" from Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt! the vocals are a little wobbly, but I can bear with it personally for the choruses. I sing this in the shower

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it's mashed up with "II. Earth: The Oldest Computer (The Last Night)" by Childish Gambino. this track has singlehandedly dragged me through study sessions, writing binges, and all sorts of hyperfocused multi-hour activities. it's great!

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according to the wiki:

At the start, the advertised track is mashed up with "Sexy and I Know It" by LMFAO. At 0:28 and 2:22, the advertised track is mashed up with "U Got That". At 1:52, the advertised track is mashed up with "Sexy Bitch" by David Guetta ft. Akon.

and y'know, I never expected "U Got That" to ever be something I actually listen to, but this mashup makes it work pretty well. and, of course, as usual: thank you late 00s/early 10s party music for everything...

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I had to narrow down all the No Straight Roads rips I listen to on a regular basis and I chose this one. it's mashed up with "Give Me Everything" by Pitbull. it works so well. why does it work so well. afraid, distraught, scared

"Reactive Friday (ft. Pitbull)" (alt. youtube link)

let's see what the wiki has to say about this one:

The advertised track is mashed up with "Friday (Dopamine Re-Edit)" by Nightcrawlers ft. Riton and Mufasa & Hypeman. At 1:07 and 2:31, the advertised track is briefly mashed up with "Hotel Room Service" by Pitbull.

yeah, the Pitbull posting will continue until morale improves lol. it's my nostalgia! not yours!

"Mr. N" (alt. youtube link)

it's a mashup with "Mr. Morale" by Kendrick Lamar. it works really well! and it also has a top comment that cracks me up every time:

Apparently N’s full name is Ndrick Harmonia Lamaropius

and listen. this is no "it takes a lot of child abuse to get this good at chess"³, but it does crack me up every time. "endrick harmonia laropius" floats in the ocean of my subconscious just to elicit a sincere chuckle whenever I remember it. endrick. lmao

"Hollow Mice (Minecraft Lush Caves Biome Music)"

this isn't as much a mashup strictly speaking as it is a completely different song re-done in the style of the purported track... it's "Living Mice" from Minecraft :]. a more calm track! they're not all late-oughties party music

"Locked In The Underground" (alt. youtube link)

sayeth the wiki:

The advertised track is mashed up with the radio edit of "Locked Out of Heaven" by Bruno Mars, with instruments from "CORE" arranged to match throughout. Undertale sound effects are interspersed throughout the rip, including at parts where censoring in the original track occurs.

and isn't that such nice attention to detail? the censoring, the rearrangement. this is awesome....

it actually reminds me of a Deltarune mashup (also including "Locked out of Heaven") that I really like, called "[Blocked] For Your Sanity". (though the siivagunner mashup, "Locked in the Underground", is a lot less overwhelming and more cohesive — but there's something magical about "[Blocked] For Your Sanity" and its dedication to thematic cohesion, y'know?)

"hampton and toree take a spin"

this is "Promiscuous Girl" by Nelly Furtado ft. Timbaland, except it has "Hampsterdance" instrumentals. doesn't this entice you? Doesn't this make you curious? happy? glad to be alive? doesn't this move your soul, your spirit, your feet? doesn't this bang nuclear. Let me know. Reach out. I need to know if I do actually have something wrong with my brain for enjoying this

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disgustingly infectious, the note that goes up and down will haunt me until my dying breath. if kirby music is this good then I think I'm missing out by having never played any kirby games⁴

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y'know how in songs with a nice juicy beat drop, they like to put a random sentence before the beat drop? the random pre-beat drop sentence in this track should make the hall of fame. danganronpa's music is one of that series' few redeeming qualities⁵.

(I really do like a lot of danganronpa music — it's the right mixture between cyberpunk but also weird as shit and not taking itself seriously, I think it matches "what the games want to be" very well, if not their actual result)

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oh Reol we're really in it now⁶. I always get so caught up in the euphoria⁷ of a yoyoi kokon remix that I forget about Love Live lol, but oh well, so will you!!

"but what does sofi need the ladder for. im serious i need an explanation"

maybe I should listen to more early-tens dubstep. maybe I should wub it like crazy. maybe that's the moral of this post, I was given brain problems by skrillex wannabes at a formative age and now I think this is awesome. I'm zen about this because whatever makes me like dubstep is also what makes me like hyperpop and people react negatively to that, but like, hyperpop includes SOPHIE, and her music is widely considered audiokino, so it's a net zero, I think, for my imaginary respect. (speaking of which: who even is sofi?)

(if you were curious there is in fact a siivagunner SOPHIE mashup, it's between a Breath of the Wild track and her song "ponyboy". I didn't feature it in this post because I don't listen to it with regularity... partially because I feel something slightly off about that particular mix, and partially because years ago I listened to ponyboy so much I got kind of sick of it and I'm still hesitant to revisit...) (...also I like other SOPHIE tracks better, sorryyyy)

"Six Feet Deep like (Skeletons)" (alt. youtube link)

it's crazy how much better this song is than either of its originals. genuinely. I don't always think mashups or remixes are improvements, but this one is peak performance⁸, for sure. you can probably tell by now that I love songs where a note goes up and down in the background in a kind of hypnotic manner...

"The M in LMFAO stands for Mango"

saved one of my absolute favourites for last... I have no idea what they're singing about but this song does cocomelon things inside my head. short and sweet. Mango!

...and yeah that's the post. you should email me your favourite siivagunner mashups if you have any, I like hearing about this sorta stuff. and you should also give all of these a listen! unless you have a severe allergy to late oughties early tens pop, in which case, um. my bad

but, regardless of whether you listen or not, as always:

thank you for reading!

#fnuy #review #review - I fucking guess????? #🌕